Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Tahniah..

sometime.. appreciation is not only for others.. you have to make sure that you appreciate yourself then to others.. especially when it has something to do with achievements or good news related to yourself..


today.. i received one very good news.. at first i cant believe my eyes.. i read it many times and yes.. thats true.. alhamdulillah.. congratulations Norhayati Bt Zainudin..

how can i congratulate myself?.. should i buy new cloth? new shoes? hurm.. what will "i" like?.. maybe celebrating it with my family.. but how?.. should i give a dinner treat or just let them celebrating me?..huhu..

firstly; i should thank my self for doing well and get through all the rough time.. and i should buy things that i really love to do and admire all this time.. such as books, dvds or going for a marathon movies or karaoke.. which one?.. the choice is mine.. i should do something to show appreciation to myself..

p/s: Alhamdulillah..

Nota Kaki Hina: Sometime Our Weaknesses Can Be Our Most Powerful Strength..

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Thank God I Found You..

Alhamdulillah..

You dont know how much that i treasure you..

you come and affect my life in your own unique way..

maybe you think this is only a simple friendship message but trust me.. its so much more than that.. for me.. its a lot meaningful than you thought it would..

i believe that "only you can see every inches that happen in your life.. especially the changes that no one notice.only you know what is the best for yourself..".. i realized that i have many great people around me..one of them is you..

i sent this privately so that i can tell you one secret and whisper it through the wind that "i appreciate everything you've said.. whatever you've done.. every advices that you've gave.."

take care and have blessful life ahead..


p/s: penghargaan perlukah diluah kepada individu2 yang buat anda terkesan di hati?..
Tolong Jangan Salah Sangka.. Ikhlas Itu Niatku..

Nota Kaki Hina: Silence..Please Bring This Through The Wind..


(hati mula berbisik halus.. getar yang mungkin sukar ditafsir.. mustahil itu ada dan harapan itu tipis.. bagaimana ingin diidam agung jika aku hanya sekerdil zarah yang terbang dibawa angin pergi lalu jauh darimu.. ketahuilah.. kesedaran itu mampu buat ku lebih menghayati setiap yang berlaku dan sangat menghargainya walau ia hanya sehuruf patah kata.. aku harus lepaskan rasa ini..kerana matlamat itu pasti tidak tercapai..sayu..itu pasti.. namun sesal itu tiada..percayalah..)

Dulu.. Kini..

Perubahan.. sesuatu yang tidak mustahil.. jangan biar diri memilih untuk terus berada di takuk lama.. bawakan diri dengan kepuasan hati apabila mampu mengulit langkah yang lebih cantik tersusun..


p/s: positive change..

Nota Kaki Hina: Its Tiring Just To Sit And Wait.. So Try To Run And Catch.. Even though You Didnt Get It But At Least The Trial Do Give Someting Meaningful For You.. :)

Sunday, June 27, 2010

Berfikir..

Dalam sebuah perancangan, perlu difikirkan baik buruk, untung rugi bagi membantu kita memilih keputusan yang tidak akan disesali pada kemudian hari..


Someone said "Set Your Goal And Plan".. i started think about my future and plan it 2 years ago..but it just like a wind.. it comes and goes.. but i started think deeply about it during my internship and it still ongoing..

the pros and cons.. the time limitation that i have.. financial support.. job prospects.. etc..

i admit that i'm a simple minded person but sometime i can be sort of a deep thinker.. when i start being a deep thinker, i'm becoming a GAD person.. worry about things that is so simple..

i reset my goal.. :) i plan my stages again.. i'm in a halfway to step on it..

for time being.. doing my job..get experiences with great persons.. and hopefully.. i can be like them one day..! insyaAllah.

p/s: Only You Know What Is The Best For Yourself..

Nota Kaki Hina: Find The Strengths In You.. Hold And Feel It..

Saturday, June 26, 2010

Tertanam..

tanam dalam-dalam..jangan gali kembali.. biar tumbuh jadi pohon mekar yang memberi hasil lumayan nanti..

aplikasi?.. di mana?.. pada siapa?..

cita-cita..impian..angan-angan..tekad sudah pasti..

jangan hanya luah di bibir..tapi tanam dalam hati.. biar kerangka di minda, tiada siapa tahu dan tiada siapa curiga..

siapa?.. tengok pada cermin.. mata,hidung,bibir,wajahnya itu siapa?.. lihatlah pada cermin.. ada siapa?.. tentulah dia.. dia itu saya.. :)

p/s: Trust Yourself.. :)

Nota Kaki Hina: Set Your Goal And Plan.. (TQ)

Thursday, June 24, 2010

TM = Tenang + Mendamaikan..

23-06-10.. alhamdulihah..here i am.. at Tg Malim.. berbekalkan laptop,motor buruk dan pakaian ala kadar.. saya mahu mulakan destinasi pertama mencari pengalaman dengan mengenang kembali tempat-tempat yang ada di sekitar saya.. dewan kuliah,fakulti,kedai-kedai dan juga bangunan usang di sini.. begitu penuh memori..duka..suka.. namun indah..

24-06-10.. i continued doing my first task and alhamdulillah.. i completed it this evening at PTB..eventho there are few things that confusing me but i hope it will be okay because i prepared it earlier.. tomorrow, i'll start my work.. im kind of nervous but full of energy to do it.. my GAD starting to develop and i start thinking about many things.. haha..

hopefully everything will run smoothly.. first day of work.. i'll make sure that i have full energy to deal with whatever that happen..

p/s: think positive..

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Berhijrah..

hari ni hari terakhir berada di Ipoh.. esok saya akan bertolak ke destinasi yang banyak mencuit memori sejak 4 tahun yang lalu.. meniti kembali setiap kenangan di setiap sudut dan ceruk yang ada di situ.. sambil mengutip pengalaman baru serta pencarian ilmu kehidupan..

hijrah tidak jauh berbatu.. cukup sekadar di dasar hati.. kukuh terus kekal..
langkah yang dihayun juga tidak panjang, malah hanya sejengkal di tempat asal..
namun tekad berguru tidak pernah layu.. harap berilmu dapat beramal..

p/s: Teguh..

Nota Kaki Hina: Always Challenge Yourself..

Friday, June 18, 2010

The Choice Is Yours..

CTRT.. it stands for Choice Theory Reality Therapy.. the core of CTRT is about:

  • choices = free to decide
  • basic needs = could be a problem if one or more of it cannot be fulfilled (freedom, love & belonging, fun, power and survival)
  • total behaviour = good progress if total behaviour positively change (doing, thinking, affect, phisiology)
  • quality world and perceived world = QW is what we want and PW is what we have. conflict occured when QW is not the same with PW
  • WDEP = steps to identify the issue, basic needs and helping
i have to study it all over again. its to make sure that i really understand the theory or its going to be difficult for me.

i really excited about this matter. and hoping that i can show the best of me and push the limit of success.. i love it!!

just like this one said : "If u never feel good about it, u will never satisfied with everything u did."

p/s: alhamdulillah.. insyaAllah semuanya ok..

Nota Kaki Hina: Take Chances To Challenge Yourself.. The Choice Is Yours..

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Teguhkan Emosi..

saya dah tak mampu lagi berada di sini.. mungkin jalan terbaik adalah keluar..mungkin baik untuk semua. lebih2 lagi buat diri dan emosi..

orang merantau jauh membawa diri.. mencari sesuatu yang mampu tenangkan hati..

saya tau satu tentang diri saya.. sibukkan diri dengan kognitif supaya kawalan emosi dapat dicapai.. latihan peribadi untuk menghadapi hidup penuh gangguan emosi yang datang dari pelbagai punca..kekuatan mental dan proses kognitif yang rasional mampu menstabilkan emosi..

saya nak cabar diri saya..supaya tak lemah dek dugaan emosi.. cukup sudah emosi penat menghadapi pelbagai situasi.. kepura-puraan yang pelbagai cara untuk terus hidup di layar dunia.. mungkin tampak hipokrit tapi itulah permainan dunia dewasa.. hipokrit dari aspek topeng personaliti untuk terus pandai membawa diri.. variasi topeng dalam koleksi, supaya dapat pertahankan penghargaan diri.. terus membina keyakinan diri.. supaya meningkat kecemerlangan diri..

saya kenal emosi saya sekarang.. dan ia pasti bukan yang indah.. ianya sakit tapi Allah lebih tahu kenapa diberi dugaan ini sejak sekian lamanya.. saya redha tapi emosi itu pandai mencari jalan untuk terus mengusik hati.. sehingga meraung di sanubari..

saya bisik pada diri.. kekuatan itu datang dari dalam diri..bukan atas dorongan sesiapa.. dan orang yang kuat itulah yang mampu menggesa diri supaya terus melangkah mencapai maksima potensi diri..

p/s: this is all about me..my emotions,my thoughts..

Nota Kaki Hina: Push Your Limit Of Success..


Saturday, June 12, 2010

Silence..

silence is golden.. its true and applicable in certain situation.. but i twisted it a little bit..

-cry in silence is golden experience-

have you ever experienced things listed below when you cry?:

  1. shaking
  2. tears drop instantly without warning
  3. cannot breathe properly
  4. hit something while crying
  5. cry but you didnt make any sound.' just heavy rain with silence wind'
its really hurt when you experienced the lists while crying. and dont forget, its a golden experience.. i'm not going to discuss how to stabilize your emotions or sharing what i had read today but this post is all about my self disclosure..

i do experienced the things listed above. and its really hurt.. but like i said before in early post, i will give all out in many situations. one of it is while crying. i cried out loud.. its sound like LOUD right?.. but no one knows because i cried out loud in silence.. :)

it takes time for me to cry.. i mean really really crying.. its because i dont want to waste my tears and cry all over again just to satisfied my need of feeling the pain. . i will cry once for the crisis that occured. sometime when one crisis occured and i have more important thing to do, i will hold my tears, stabilizing my emotion and try to put the pain away for awhile just to focus on the other important thing. but once i settle the other thing, i will focus on my emotions and really identify what should i feel at that time with that crisis.. if i should cry, i cry then after that i will make sure that i'll be back to normal, again.. it is really hard.. but alhamdulillah, till now i still can hold back my tears and didnt show it to anybody.. is it sound pathetic?..haha..

its only 5 percent of my self disclosure. there's more that i dont tell here. its not that i dont want to be fully honest to you but sometimes, its better to keep it as my little secret.. that is why treasure hunt is very exciting.. :P it makes sense right?..hihi

p/s: cry if you feel like to cry.. smile, give the sweetest smile ever.. do feel the emotions and you will be grateful in whatever happen in this world..

Nota Kaki Hina: Serahkan Hati Pada Yang Esa..

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Addicted..

Last night i search something that has to do with my daily life. it was going on the line for at least 6 hours per day. its not like i didnt do anything at all. while online, i did household, babysitting my niece and sometime, reading.. but i do like to surf the internet. the websites that i must surf everyday is :

so, last night i found a research and questionnaire+quiz from those websites:

i just realized that if i dont minimize my internet usage, i could be addicted to it. i did answer both and i discovered something about myself. :)


p/s: just try, itsonly take 5 minutes guys..

Nota Kaki Hina: Bersederhana Dalam Segala Hal..:)

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Tearing Up Apart..

"nothing can hurt me and make me broken into pieces unless it has to do with my family.. hurm.. hard to explain and getting harder to hold it.. but all i can do is face it by myself and try to figure out what could be the best to solve it..but now i remember, i'm not a problem solver so do not interfere in it.. but its my family though.."


sometimes, people feel hurt when they got dumped by their lovers or their bff betrayed them..it is hurt. however, when it comes to family matter, do u get deeply emotional or just be able to let it go without feeling hurt?..

for those who are family-oriented, they will feel hurt more than anything.. and they will try to solve whatever the problem is and if they cant solve it, they are hurting themselves.. then how to be responsible to our family without hurting ourselves?..

some opinions said that if we're not interfere or didnt try to solve the family problem, you are not being responsible and you're not being part of the family.. is it true?..

so many questions that i have to find the answer when its related to family cases.. its so complicated.. why is that so?.. For me, family is one unit or community that holds many people with different personalities. eventhough we have the same blood type, similar faces, share the same habits or living in one roof, it doesn't mean that we have exactly same point of view, same decision making skills, or same tolerance level.. so thats how the unique family begin to grow and it becomes more complicated if we look in it specifically..

each families have their own problems. its not going to be the same as other families that have same quantity of family members or same age children.. i'm not going to discuss about what kind of family problems that modern families go through. but, i'm going to share some informations that i read on the net about how to be a happy family:

  1. Create and define family values - sometime, the value built up when two people getting married because of the value that they share and it automatically become the family values.but it is good to recreate and discuss with children about what values that they want in a family. the discussion can come to new values that everybody is happy about it.
  2. Lean on others - It doesn't mean that you have to be dependance to others but its important to have support systems that can help you when you really need them. the support system can come from your extended family,neighbours or organisation.
  3. Get together - Don't let the worst tearing up your family. face it through good or worst. when you're facing the worst together, it can bind the family back. try to find joy in every moment and when you go through difficult time together, it can bring your family closer.
  4. Have fun - have fun with everything that has to do with your family. dont structure it or plan for it. let it come naturally by enjoying every moment with it. have fun and get it done spontaneously.

i do have my own family problems but i try to enjoy every moment of it.. i cried a lot but i try to enjoy the tears by really feeling it so that i wont feeling it continously.. whatever happen in the family make me more strong and the bind getting stronger eventhough it has their own scratch here and there.. i dont know what my family members feel about this but it is enough for me to feel it by myself.. we shared same values, we lean on each others when the worst strikes, we do get together eventhough we have issues and we do have fun when its time to have fun.. we give it all out for better or worst.. but sometime the experiences make me feel down a little bit but by rationality, it feels more relieved.. trying hard to be rational and deal with emotions.. it looks like a positive progress accure and the graph is up eventhough only 0.1%..


p/s: family is everything weither its good or bad..

Nota Kaki Hina: When The Emotions Start To Roll, Then Logical Will Fade Away.. Dont Let It Happen By Enjoying Your Day..:)


Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Power Of Knowledge..

* Seronoknya dah habis study.
* Lepas ni bolehlah kerja
* Yes! Tak payah fikir+pecah otak study dah..
* Betul ke dah habis ni?..mcm tak caya jer..
* Akhirnya............


agak-agaknya mcm tu ke reaksi bila dah tamat belajar ye? masa internship, mmg inilah ungkapannya bila fikirkan bila dah habis.. macam seronok je tapi sebenarnya.. tak seindah yang digambarkan.. rasa bersyukur sangat sebab mampu tamatkan belajar tapi bila dah habis, xsabar nak konvo sbb ada banyak plan.. mungkinkah angan-angan?.. ohh mungkin juga realiti..

i'm glad i've finished my study and will graduate coming october. cant wait to reach that day.. but there's so much things to do before that.. in the mean time, i'm jobless. i'm trying to get a job.. i had discover how people struggle to get a job..

today, i went to Jabatan Tenaga Buruh but not to be interviewed or something.. i just went to the board that advertised job vacancies.. there's some people also looking for a job .. while i read some of the job vacancies, one guy approached me and he was looking for marketing exec.. if i'm really desperate, i'll just accept the offer but i didnt.. most of the job vacancies required working experiences in related field that i dont have.. and most of it must be interviewed and permanent worker needed.. i was looking for a part time job and if i said this during the interview, i'm not going to get a job.. do i have to lie about it?

i realized how lucky i am today.. eventhough i'm jobless right now but, after i receive my transcript, its easier to get a job..especially in education field.. but i'm not going to stop there because i want to get higher achievements in my life..

so, for a while, i'm not going to get a job desperately.. because i want to enjoy with every moments of my lazy day.. haha..:)


p/s: being a student is more exciting than being a lazy bum.. :)

Nota Kaki Hina: Enjoy Every Moment In Your Life Eventhough Its Not Like What You Want It To Be..

Monday, June 7, 2010

Moody Monday..

Instruction: Fill In The Blanks. Now, I Feel ___________.

1) Sad
2) Dissappointed
3) Stressed
4) Horrible
5) Depressed
6) Nothing

Are all the answers are negative emotions? its not good for you to feel that way. Ohh.. Am i talking to ME?.. yup.. auhhh.. i do feel that negative emotions right now. and it did ruined my day..

its all starting last night. something happened to be missing..its really important.. its not like i cant live without it but it'll do affect my life in the future.. specifically.. affect my career one day..

i'm not going to blame anybody because its my stuff and i have to be responsible with it. i know but i still cannot accept the fact that its missing.. when i didnt think about it, its ok but when i'm starting to feel the lost, the negative emotions will come.

i have solutions to solve it but the lost disappointed me a little bit.. i feel a little moody today but now, i feel more relieved..

sometimes, we tend to blame others when something is not on a track that we thought it would. but we have to be open and start thinking about why is that happen and how to get it back on track. one more thing is we have to understand that we are human being and we do mistakes. in addition to that, we can do whatever it takes to make everything runs smoothly like we want it to be BUT sometime we're not going to get everything that we want.

i'm trying to think rationally and its normal to feel sad about it for a while but you'll be okay after you can face the facts..

p/s: People do mistakes

Nota Kaki Hina: Losing Something That Is Very Important Can Be A Trigger Of A Disaster.. But It May Be A Way To Find Something Thats Much Better..



Thursday, June 3, 2010

Salah Ke Saya Single??!!~

saya bangga saya cakap saya single.. u want to know why??

1- lelaki baik sukar dicari
2- pengalaman lepas sangat terkesan
3- saya sendiri tak mampu lagi urus diri+emosi.. How to manage others?
4- saya sedang mencari cinta dalam diri saya yang boleh saya beri kepada orang lain..
5- i'm not a multitasker..so i have to focus first on MYSELF!
6- saya sukar nak layan karenah orang bila saya hanyut dengan kerja
7- hp bukan sesuatu yang sangat penting buat saya..-acceptable?-
8- i want more than love in my life..
9- saya banyak kekurangan yang perlu diperbaiki sebelum menerima kelemahan orang lain
10- jodoh tu kerja Allah.. kalau ade pasti diberi petunjuk.. InsyaAllah.

10 tu cukup tak?.. actually..i'm not really ready for love.. i knew love since i'm in sekolah menengah.. there's so much love experiences that i had until i really dont know how the first love feels like.. so.. maybe i should take some time and try to memorize the first love feeling back..

tipu lah kalau kata saya taknak bercinta.. i really like too and i'm a good lover you know.. but i'm not very lucky in love.. seingat saya.. ade 3 orang ex bf saya dah pun kawen ngan orang lain..kalau cerita kisah cinta saya..konfem xpercaya. seorang tu bertunang masa bercinta ngan saya, sorang pulak kembali kepada saya masa dia sudah jadi tunangan orang tetapi terus lost contact pas kawen and he msged me last month.. dan exbf/suami orang yang terakhir pulak telah kawen dalam tahun ni jugak.. ceritanya agak complicated.. jadi secara ringkasnya.. guys always cheated on me.. ohh.. sunguh menyedihkan..

tu baru cite ttg yang kawen..belum lagik cite yg lain pulak.. ade orang kata love is based on trust..but in my experience, love is based on trust BUT if you give too much trust then u will have a halo effect.. you want to know what halo effect means?..

Halo Effect: You will be influnced by a good feeling or positive perceptions eventhough he did something unacceptable..when you got this halo effect then u'll always have a good perceptions.. semuanya kabur dan dikaburi..

p/s: itu saya dah rasa dah.. harapnya tak berulang lagi.. :)

Nota Kaki Hina: L.O.V.E..

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

I THINK I'M IN LOVE!!


Mocca - I Think I'm In Love

if you got an eerie feeling after hanging up the phone
sort of happy feeling but you're not sure what it's called

if you're haunted by his face whenever you're asleep at night
and think you hear his silly voice just calling out your name

oh, no! I think i'm in love with you..
on, no! i'm hoping you'll want me too
so, please..don;t let me down!

just can't help but talk about him every conversation
till your friends are sick and tired of that same old crap

if you start wearing make up even when you go to bed
crying like a baby when you hear a mellow song



lirik tu leh menggambarkan situasi jatuh cinta.. ye ke?.. maybe..haha

when i'm in love, i didnt really heard his voice because it sounds like hallucinations.. i didnt see his face in everywhere because its more to delutional.. but i did said his name in almost everything..dia itu dia ini.. until my friends said..haih xde nama lain ker?.. then i lost my friends.. so i didnt said his name no more.. off course i didnt wear make up when i woke up in the morning.. and cried for no reasons..

this song is so dramatic.. but i do agree when she said this phrase - sort of happy feeling but you're not sure what it's called -..

i missed the angau feelings.. BUT there's so many things to achieve right now.. the plan must be fulfilled..

p/s: focus on your life than to others.. sound selfish right..haha

Nota Kaki Hina: Love Is Just A Word Till Someone You Meet Gives It A Meaning.


Tuesday, June 1, 2010

saya seorang penganggur..

saya mula menjadi penganggur..dah bulan 6.. konvo lambat lagik maka lambat lagik lah plan saya yang bercabang-cabang ni.. ape nak buat ye dalam masa terdekat ni?.. saya nak kerja.. income masuk sikit.. takdelah membina badan yang sedia terbina ni..huhu..

tapi ape kerja yang boleh dilakukan?.. saya nak keja dengan mereka yang tampak educated.. tapi di mana?.. saya nak kerja yang berkaitan dengan orang ramai..tapi dengan siapa?..huh~.. kehidupan mula menjadi rumit.. sangat penat berfikir lah..

mata malam ni cepat betul mengantuk.. so..saya nak masuk tido dulu..tadi rasa berkobar2 nak update tapi skrg rasa ngantuk pulak.. maybe next time yer my dearest diary..nyte2.

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